Sunday, April 22, 2007
hello. it's time for a proper update! cause lots have been going on, but i havent had the heart or the time to type it down.
as i've mentioned before, SRRR is coming up & gracie talked to us this morning. i think we do have a common goal..and that is to play in the river. it's just that it wasn't really discussed bout...& no details were given. it was just something we wanted to obtain. there were times i didn't think we had any hope at all..maybe because some girls attitudes were getting quite negative & weren't very serious about training. & then there were times, i think we deserved everything cause we trained so hard together for so long. well..right now, i think that we should do this for each other n ourselves. our official SRRR where we've got something to show! let's get through it ya? love :)
everyone promised me my year 3 in mass comm would be much less stressful than anything in year 2. but they never considered the external responsiblities. sometimes its so damnn tough, being fair, being strict, being responsible. especially when there are things i would never want to do if i had the choice. i wish i didn't have to bug & annoy my friends to go down for training..didn't have to shout at people but instead watch people shouting. i dislike the feeling of being disliked, & people always tell me that
there will be people who arent happy with what you do. but i cant help feeling offended & sometimes sensitive to what whoever says. so even when i am affected, i have to pretend that it doesnt prick. doesnt it just suck? but i'll continue doing my job no matter how shitty & tough it gets, simply cause im me & its my responsibility.
i realised there are alot of kind people in the world despite the many whores & bastards. i was crying like an idiot in the cab e other day & the uncle kept peeking at me. i had no tissue and i was feeling pretty gross, but i refused to take b's tissue. so at the traffic light, the uncle passed me his tiny tissue box. n when i was alighting he was like 'good luck. everything will be okay' which kinda made me cry even harder cause this person who doesnt even know what my name is was being so nice. okaay. maybe i was just a wreck at tt moment. ahh, whatever.
but everything is fine now. he's sorry for being such a mean ass to me. :) . even bought me kenny rogers for dinner! sure knows the way to my heart. haha. & no, its not food. it's just
what i want. its true though, that the people u are closest to tend to hurt u a lot more, and a lot more often. maybe cause our expectations of them are so high. but sometimes, they cant help but disappoint.
:) no hidden meanings. im a happy girl!
